Transportation Module

The Author demonstrates correct launching procedure

The Transportation Module is the Author's primary on-screen method of transport and comic maintenance. It is equipped with incredible quantities of technology, magic, and things that are neither one nor the other, which allow the pilot to monitor and influence events inside the comic, while staying outside the panel borders. When not in use, it is docked at the Authorship Shrine.

Technobabble Edit

It is not known what any of these functions actually do, but in comic 85, the Author performs the following actions with the Transport Module in order to travel from the Authorship Shrine to the comic.

  • Catalyse the fluid unit.
  • Energise the synchronic relays.
  • Release the phlebontic docking feed.
  • Charge the flux capacitor. Though time travel is possible within the comic, it is not known whether a flux capacitor is sufficient to enable it.
  • Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. The Transportation Module presents several other similarities with the TARDIS.
  • Make up ridiculous technobabble.
  • Alternately move a large switch upwards and downwards. Possibly due to the camera angle, this switch is the only visible control on the Transportation Module.
  • Recalibrate the alignment of the thrust matrices.
  • Hang lampshades on the poor art quality of the comic.
  • Travel horizontally at eighty-eight miles per hour.
  • Point out a flaw in the plot. This was actually done by Xavius, who specialises in this area, but the resulting plot hole seems to be necessary for transportation.

It is not known whether all this is required for proper operation of the Transportation Module, or whether the Author is just making stuff up. Of course, the Author being the Author, there may be no difference.


Since the Transportation Module is powered by the Author's omnipotent mastery of the comic, it has theoretically limitless abilities. However, since the Transportation Module is powered by the Authors omnipotent mastery of the comic, it can only be used for purposes that will advance the plot. So far, this has included transporting Xavius and the Author out of the Authorship Shrine, creating a bridge using Inkscape functions, allowing the Author and Xavius to float alongside the comment unobserved while making snarky comments, getting the Author, Xavius, and possibly the other characters back to an undisclosed location to prepare for the 100th comic party, being immune to narrativium collapse, and serving as the Author's vehicle for the snowball fight.